Anal Stimulation and the Heterosexual Man

By Leo London

 

Anal stimulation and the heterosexual man is definitely a subject not spoken of often. When Kate asked me if I’d be interested in reviewing a butt plug for CS, I jumped at the toy but not so much at the review. As a straight man, it is definitely sort of scary to admit to enjoying something up your ass to one person, let alone the infinite universe of the internet. However, I think it’s about time it became a less taboo subject.

I’m sure that there are not many straight men out there that would request to receive anal stimulation during sex. But if a female partner were to work a hand down from cock to balls to perineum to anus during a blowjob, there are a good number of guys that would certainly provide encouragement for more with their reactions. Others may not and that’s all well and fine. When has anything in sex been for everyone? What we need to lose are the misconceptions about men and anal sex.

Biologically speaking, the butt contains a large number of nerve endings and of course on men, the prostate. Stimulating this area can be very pleasurable and assist in achieving mind blowing orgasms. Prostate massage is also known to help prevent prostate cancer and to generally be good for one’s anal health.

I think though, that there is an idea out there that to enjoy receiving anal as a man indicates underlying homosexual urges. I’ve only ever told two of the sexual partners I’ve had about my history of experimenting with anal. The first (albeit we were young) told me I was “sick and needed help”. The second asked “wouldn’t you rather be with a man then?”

Perhaps because men are traditionally the penetrators and not the penetrated, the idea exists that a man who is willing to be vulnerable and receive anal is somehow less of a man, or a confused homosexual. I think there is a possibility that this fear by both men and women is causing a lot of external over-compensation by modern men.

When my first ever sexual partner called me sick for my desires, I buried them only to have them surface in different ways. I watched a lot of anal porn and consistently tried to have anal sex with women. I chalked it up to having a fetish. It wasn’t until fairly recently that I started to truly wonder why. Why could I only really get off when I was watching anal pornography, sticking a finger up a woman’s ass during vaginal intercourse or performing analingus? I had to admit to myself that I had perhaps put my desires upon my sexual partners because I wanted that type of stimulation and was too afraid to ask for it. Renewing a love for anal toys has allowed me to understand myself so much more.

My aim with this article is to encourage more discussion about anal sex between men and women, and to remove false pretenses about it. Have you and your partner ever talked about anal, or tried ass play during sex? Do you experiment during solo play? Please feel free to post a comment. I'm interested in hearing your story.

My advice to those who have not experimented: You’re ass has a shitty job, give it some love every now and then. If done right, you will experience for yourself its appreciation. Oh… and don't forget the lube!

Apollo on Jun 15, 2012 at 6:33pm:
It's always something i've thought about but was worried about trying. I think i'd be scared to ask someone to do. From what i've heard its amazing. I'd like to try it one day but I guess i'll have to find the courage to do so!
Skinartia on Jun 17, 2012 at 11:37am:
Leo, I'm sorry to hear that the first woman had such a negative reaction.

I think a lot of women get confused when asked by their partner to do ass play on him. I've known a lot of ladies who had/would have the same reaction as the second woman ("would you rather be with a man then?") and had hurt feelings thinking that they were with a guy who was confused.

This hasn't been a topic widely talked about when it comes to straight guys so I'm happy to see that you've brought it up. There's so much more to male sexuality than women think they know.
fgluyy on Jun 17, 2012 at 8:46pm:
Leo, sorry to hear about your experiences. I have had some confusion and similar questions asked in response to my requests for anal play. However, the majority of the time I have had positive responses from women and it has led to great experiences! I would definitely encourage all men to experiment with anal play as it can be very pleasurable.
LeoLondon on Jun 17, 2012 at 11:21pm:
Thanks for your open and honest responses everyone! Ass play is definitely an intimidating thing to ask for. My experiences weren't all bad. After discussing my sexual orientation with the second person that I told, she became more intrigued with the idea than anything. It's too bad that some women may jump to the wrong conclusion, and feel hurt as a result. If anything, I think it takes a lot of confidence in one's own sexuality in order to suggest trying different things.

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