Making a little post to, I suppose, explain myself in some way?
Pride was an awesome undertaking. It made me so happy and proud to be part of a party that big, and of a movement that positive. It was worth every second of work, and I am so so so thankful for all the help I received.
This week has been a bit hard, though. Monday came, the house was littered with balloons and rainbows, and I found that I needed to actually take a break. I've been on vacation from my day job this week, and I kind of decided to make it a real vacation - by accident.
Life kind of slapped me in the face post-pride. My body made it clear that it needed to get back to basics, and my mind needed to focus. A friend in my life sadly passed away a week before pride, which made things all the more challenging. I've been experiencing pushes from people who usually aren't big parts of my life, telling me why the things I'm doing are wrong, why the things I believe are wrong, and why I am wrong in most ways. Negativity tried really really hard to derail everything I've been building, and then Kyle died on top of that.
So this past week, I hardly touched Cherrystems. We all need time off, we all need to take breaks and get back to life every now and again. Even as just a baby of a site, Cherrystems does take up a lot of time. Even just the cleanup after pride took me 5 days to finish.
And I went to a funeral for a friend who was only 26. I caught up with old friends that I used to hang out with a lot more back when Kyle lived in Winnipeg (he moved to Montreal two years ago). There was a definite falling out between Kyle, myself, and another old friend, and we hadn't spoken in two years. Does that make it easier to know that he's dead? Not in any way. In fact, it makes me wonder what I can do to make amends with people who believe pettiness is pinnacle of life. There's been negativity coming at me from all sides, how much am I supposed to take, and when does walking away become the only option? Then if they die young like Kyle did, how do I deal with knowing I just stopped putting effort in? Is that ok?
I'll work through it, but for the moment, it's back to the priorities.
Naked people.
Sex toys.
Love.
RIP buddy, even if we weren't besties.
Pride was an awesome undertaking. It made me so happy and proud to be part of a party that big, and of a movement that positive. It was worth every second of work, and I am so so so thankful for all the help I received.
This week has been a bit hard, though. Monday came, the house was littered with balloons and rainbows, and I found that I needed to actually take a break. I've been on vacation from my day job this week, and I kind of decided to make it a real vacation - by accident.
Life kind of slapped me in the face post-pride. My body made it clear that it needed to get back to basics, and my mind needed to focus. A friend in my life sadly passed away a week before pride, which made things all the more challenging. I've been experiencing pushes from people who usually aren't big parts of my life, telling me why the things I'm doing are wrong, why the things I believe are wrong, and why I am wrong in most ways. Negativity tried really really hard to derail everything I've been building, and then Kyle died on top of that.
So this past week, I hardly touched Cherrystems. We all need time off, we all need to take breaks and get back to life every now and again. Even as just a baby of a site, Cherrystems does take up a lot of time. Even just the cleanup after pride took me 5 days to finish.
And I went to a funeral for a friend who was only 26. I caught up with old friends that I used to hang out with a lot more back when Kyle lived in Winnipeg (he moved to Montreal two years ago). There was a definite falling out between Kyle, myself, and another old friend, and we hadn't spoken in two years. Does that make it easier to know that he's dead? Not in any way. In fact, it makes me wonder what I can do to make amends with people who believe pettiness is pinnacle of life. There's been negativity coming at me from all sides, how much am I supposed to take, and when does walking away become the only option? Then if they die young like Kyle did, how do I deal with knowing I just stopped putting effort in? Is that ok?
I'll work through it, but for the moment, it's back to the priorities.
Naked people.
Sex toys.
Love.
RIP buddy, even if we weren't besties.
It's a challenge when we have to find our own closure because the other people involved are either gone, no longer part of our lives, or just not interested.
How much negativity does one person take? I would say your body has been giving you that answer. At some point, we have to accept that walking away from negativity, even if it's people we like/love, is the best option for ourselves.
You're genuinely a good person, Kate.
the healing powers of a two-hour bubble bath, candles, a good book, and silence.... are underrated. take time to love you!
But yeah. Things are getting figured out, and I'm actually finding myself comfortable in my office today. That's a good thing.