Once upon a time, just a few months ago…I thought I was fucking AWESOME. I had just had a baby and suddenly found myself so in tune with my body and my fiancé. You’d think that when you have a 4 week old baby, the last thing you’re thinking about is bumpin’ uglies, but for me it was the exact opposite. So what if I was a little fat, I created LIFE! My body was a wonder to behold (even though there was suddenly a lot more of it). I’d never felt so awesome! But those feelings didn’t last. Sigh.
Once life settled into routine, all those awesome feelings just…left. I’d do just about anything to find a way to recapture those feelings of sexiness, of confidence, of being so in tune with myself and my body and my sexuality. How does one find the balance between being a mom, a partner, and a sexual person?
Also, check out this post about post-partum body image: highheelhippiemommy.blogspot.ca/2012/04/this-is-why-im-fat.html
When baby was 4 weeks, you both got to maintain your lives. Baby slept and ate and pooped and that was about it. From there, baby's routine likely needed enforcing, and so your routine suffered because of it. While this is a necessary part of raising a child, so is finding a balance that works for both you and baby.
While routine is important for babe, if it's hurting your self-image and relationship, then lines need to be drawn.
-Ask for and use a sitter as often as you like. Babe may not be used to it, but breaking routine can be just as important as having routine (think of real life - is it often that everything goes exactly to routine?).
-Live your life, with baby. Not baby's life, with yours.
-Silence for baby is fine, but if it's eating at your relationship time, babe needs to get used to noise. Babe will not have the luxury of silence when #2 comes along, and #2 will not have the luxury with #1 around. Life happens, and it needs to happen. And your life is incredibly important! More important than a silent house. Without you maintaining your happiness, babe's life will be effected by the unhappiness!
I think those are the best tidbits I've managed to gather over the years, not having a kid and all. I do have "babies" in projects, and achieving a balance between those can be just as tough. I've had to follow those rules in my own life too (save the silence once, which I've gleaned from other mothers).